Is your fantasy for your child to be happy, successful and “good?”

Our parents and culture taught us the “shoulds” of parenting in certain, specific ways, that define “success” as having kids who achieve, reach their potential and pursue specific laudable activities.

What if all of that was wrong?

What if you could love and support your children for exactly who they are, even if it is not part of your fantasy?

Children 0-10:

Chances are your fantasy moments of blissful days splashing in the sprinklers or hours throwing the baseball haven’t aligned perfectly with reality. When the gap between fantasy and reality grows too wide, unconscious parents are triggered to think they are “bad parents” or “the only parent who couldn’t get it right” and, therefore, are:

·      Turning to control and anger to adjust the child’s behavior.

·      Worrying about preparing them for the “real world.”

·      Worrying about them reaching their “inherent potential.”

Children 11 and up:

Pre-teens and teens are naturally exploring their boundaries, learning about themselves and yearning for independence and respect.  The more an unconscious parent is “triggered” by their child, the more reactive they tend to be, leading the child to disconnect and showing the parent that:

·      Threat-based power struggles never work.

·      Reprimands and attempts to discipline inevitably diminish honest communication.

·      Parenting from ego forces distance and coldness.

“Be the parent you need to be for your child, not the parent you think you should be. -Shefali Tsabary